I wish I were blind...

So for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, I'm trying to be "creative" and use song titles or lyrics as titles to all of my posts. I'm not sure how long the creativity will last however so we'll see.

So where does this song title come from? For those of you who know me, you can take a wild guess. For those of you who don't, it's a Bruce Springsteen song title.

Here's the lyrics:
"I love to see the cottonwood blossom
In the early spring
I love to see the message of love
That the bluebird brings
But when I see you walkin' with him
Down along the strand
I wish I were blind
When I see you with your man

I love to see your hair shining
In the long summer's light
I love to watch the stars fill the sky
On a summer night
The music plays you take his hand
I watch how you touch him as you start to dance
And I wish I were blind
When I see you with your man

We struggle here but all our love's in vain
And these eyes that once filled me with your beauty
Now fill me with pain

And the light that once entered here
Is banished from me
And this darkness is all baby that my heart sees

And though the world is filled
With the grace and beauty of God's hand
Oh I wish I were blind
When I see you with your man"

Copyright © Bruce Springsteen (ASCAP)

Listen to a clip of the song here...http://www.sonymusic.com/clips/selection/30/BruceSpringsteen/IWishIWereBlind_100.asx

So....what's this all about then? Well Saturday morning I had to take my son to hockey tryout. L showed up part way through, or maybe she was there the entire time.....I'm not sure. Anyway, I noticed that her live-in boyfriend was with her.

It still kills me to see them together. It kills me to know that he's living in the house that L and I bought together and sleeping in what used to be "our" bed. I don't like it and I don't know if I'll ever be able to come to terms with it.

I could put on a brave face and say "well at least she's happy", but I am still too hurt for that. Am I being selfish.....maybe? There wasn't nor does there look like there will be any closure between L and I. From the start she never wanted to discuss the situation with me at all. Maybe that's part of my issue??

I hate the fact that L's boyrfriend will be influencing the kids and already has with the fact that he's into World of Warcraft and now has my oldest daughter playing it.

So it's been a year. When does this hurt end? Will I be on my deathbed still regretting everything?

In the meantime I am doing what I can to "move on". I've met some really wonderful girls along the way. People that I wouldn't have otherwise met. Still...."there's always something there to remind me...."

(maybe I'll save that song for another post)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

See you all further up down the road.
JC