It's Sunday and the kids have gone back to L's house now. It's always a tough time of the weekend. Fortunately I have a fairly liberal visitation schedule with the kids....every other weekend and every Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Add in sporting events and fortunately I see the kids quite often. It's a far cry from being with them all the time and living with them but at least I have that.
What I wonder sometimes is if I am compensating too much with the kids. I've definitely spoiled them over the summer. I guess the bonus is that I'm certainly spending more time with the kids than I ever have in the past. I always thought I was a good dad however. It is hard knowing that there is another male influence in their lives and that especially my youngest (2 1/2 years old) will have no memory of me ever being in the house. It broke my heart the first time I heard him say L's boyfriend's name.
I'm often asked "how are the kids doing?" Quite frankly I'm not sure. They seem to be adjusting alright. Divorce is quite common these days unfortunately. My oldest has inherited my trait for keeping things inside. The youngest is oblivious to what the situation is and has a whole new reality to deal with. The middle ones are the tough read. My oldest son is a bit of a concern. I know it's been hard on him. I've always felt a special bond with all my kids and especially him. I have to make sure to have some patience with him and talk to him as much as possible.
When I was at my lowest point this spring/early summer is was the thoughts of the kids that saved me. I will be eternally grateful for their love. I recently turned 40 and for my birthday they bought me a "Build A Bear" dressed in a Toronto Blue Jays outfit. Nice! They told me they put 4 hearts in it....one from each of them. My kids are amazing.
That's it for now......see you all further up down the road.
JC
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